Clean Shaven

Content warning: contains descriptions of sexual abuse.

Never granted a single kiss
on these lips or the ones —    bright pink roses

between taut legs, scissors ready

to open and close      at your bidding
lay me down     flat, don’t look at this face

you can’t bear the pain    in my eyes

tears overflowing as I say    no
you don’t listen, like me clean-shaven

in words and upon this   skin

baby-soft, I did it for you,    did you notice?
still I am not given    a caress in love

or in desire,    just this pumping pain

between legs —   I can’t even see the one
who claims to love me, claims to   protect
instead confuses    yes and no
with    you’ll like it in the end
doesn’t make it    rape    if you enjoy it

did I? enjoy it?      no –

in the end after you finished,    I cradled
sharp scissors in hand,    rocked

back and forth on cold tile

bare ass    soaking   in the icy cold, skin
feeling the   slice of metal

I didn’t want to feel the pain

internal anymore    but you wouldn’t

take blame

you may have lifted me   afterwards,

told me not to cut,   not to slice

but at that point   my heart had already been

cut

in a million pieces;   what did it matter if my skin

was clean-shaven and ready   for your love
your only passion was in the taking
only joy was   feeling like you had   control

that I would never leave you,   not now

that I am   yours   and you have taken
my self-respect,   taken from me
even the   hairs between

my legs

Header photograph © Charlotte Hamrick.