At a Restaurant the Night My Son Died

At a Restaurant the Night My Son Died https://i1.wp.com/barrenmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/8CAEF5D2-AAF8-41EB-ADA6-C571140A2644.jpeg?fit=1920%2C1152&ssl=1 1920 1152 Chanel Brenner Chanel Brenner https://i0.wp.com/barrenmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/chanelbrenner-e1538974496697.jpg?fit=96%2C96&ssl=1 09/19/2018 09/20/2018

I sat across from him,
shooting his portrait with my phone.

His charcoal sweatshirt faded
into the dark booth.

He played tic-tac-toe
in the dim light.

I should have known
something was wrong,

when he scribbled his X’s and O’s
like a toddler—

should have known
his brain’s weak vessels

were bleeding again.
Should have put down the phone

and looked him in the eye.
Should have noticed

his half-eaten ice cream
melting in the bowl.

Previously published at Pittsburgh Poetry Review, Fall 2017.

About the Author

Chanel Brenner

Chanel Brenner is the author of Vanilla Milk: a memoir told in poems, (Silver Birch Press, 2014), a finalist for the 2016 Independent Book Awards and honorable mention in the 2014 Eric Hoffer awards. Her poems have appeared in New Ohio Review, Poet Lore, Rattle, Muzzle Magazine, Pittsburgh Poetry Review, Barrow Street, Salamander, and others. Her poem, “July 28th, 2012” won first prize in The Write Place At the Write Time’s contest, judged by Ellen Bass.

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At a Restaurant the Night My Son Died